he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
