So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
