problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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