We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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