What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
