garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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