I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
