You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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