69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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