brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize