Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
