my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
