Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Do vagina's smell?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
