love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
