Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
