You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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