After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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