if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
