Define "chronic" masturbator.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
