I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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