Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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