honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
