I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
