There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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