Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
