Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize