Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Is Oprah even human
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
