worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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