sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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