I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Little spoons don't ask big questions
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
