that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Two words: blizzard sex
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
