Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize