I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
