is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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