Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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