you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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