Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
