you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize