my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just forgot I was standing up.
I am naked and annoyed.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
