Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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