so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
