Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
