id be glad to
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
