she woke up with a sticky ear
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
