i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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