Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
