Buhtt sex?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
