You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
