No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
