he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
