can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
