I accidentally had phone sex last night
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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