So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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