Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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