so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
