I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
