Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
