It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
