Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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